Asking Eric: Deciding whether to go to an event with an ex in the mix

Dear Eric: I was married, and the relationship ended. He was dishonest and cheated. I was furious and sad. This was about eight years ago. We don’t have any ties (kids, pets, etc.), and I told him that I didn’t think friendship was possible at that time because of how he treated me.

It took me a bit to get over everything, but it’s OK now.

However, we are godparents to the daughter of his friends. I am in touch with the family, and they kindly invited me to her bat mitzvah.

I am unsure if I should accept the invitation as I assume he’ll be there, and they’re technically his friends.

I think that I may be overreacting, but I haven’t been faced with seeing him since the divorce. Should I decline the invitation since they’re his friends first?

– Not Ready to Celebrate

Dear Celebrate: If you’re still close with your goddaughter’s family and it would hurt them to not have you there, you should go. You don’t have to interact with your ex. You don’t even have to speak with him, if you don’t want. You’re there for her.

But if it feels more like a perfunctory invite, you’re fine to decline.

It’s been a long time since your marriage. All the water is under the bridge, but you should pay attention to your reaction. If it still feels bad, let the past stay in the past.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.