Miss Manners: Tactful ways to address laundry habits with your sister

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For many years, my dear sister has had a habit of leaving her wet laundry in the machine for a long time before moving it to the dryer. This leads to a consistent mildew odor on all of her fabrics. We always notice the smell on the towels and linens when we visit. It never used to be a huge deal, but now her son is getting older, and he sweats quite a bit. Thanks to what one might call the “wet dog effect,” he always reeks of mildewy clothing.

For his sake (as well as hers), how can I convince her to change her laundry habits without hurting anyone’s feelings?

GENTLE READER: Criticizing another person’s laundry technique is not strictly within the bounds of good etiquette, but Miss Manners likes an occasional challenge.

Talking about what “we” (rather than “I”) have noticed, and calling her your Dear Sister will only alert your sibling that Something Is Up.

But making the issue about her son is a good start. And having, as a goal, not hurting anyone’s feelings is key.

A casual story about having the same problem and finding a solution -- for your own child (assuming you have one) or a friend’s (if not) -- will further remove any implied criticism. Of course, this will all come to nothing if you have raised the issue in years past without effect.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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