DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends and I live in a retirement community that takes good care of us, in part by putting little levers near the tops of our apartment doors that our security personnel flip up at night. It is our responsibility to open the door when we arise, which allows the latches to flip down, indicating that we’re up and probably not in trouble. Our etiquette problem comes up when my friends and I walk for fellowship and exercise. We normally walk outside, but when the weather’s bad, we walk inside, up and down the halls. This is common in our community, and it is generally accepted.
But because we walk fairly early, sometimes we are walking past someone’s front door as they open it, briefly, just to let the latch fall. Sometimes they are completely dressed, and sometimes they are in their dressing gowns.
Should we greet the person in this situation (“Good morning!” without pausing) or just keep walking, looking straight ahead?
GENTLE READER: Perhaps, as this is a retirement establishment, Miss Manners can invoke the Newspaper-on-the-Porch rule without being asked what on earth she means. How would a newspaper land on the porch unless you left your laptop there and it wasn’t stolen?
The meaning is that a brief moment of visibility, even when not dressed for public view, should be politely ignored. The idea was that one should not have to make oneself “presentable” for such a quick foray. (Whoops, there is another concept that might be foreign to many -- that you should look presentable when in public.)
This required both sides to maintain the fiction that the person on the porch had not been observed. This would be harder to do in the proximity of a hallway.
So, if you can plunge down the hall without eye contact, do so. Otherwise, a quick hello, and keep moving.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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