DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several months ago, my brother and his wife, who have a 10-month-old baby, found out that they are pregnant again. This news was not met with nearly as much joy as the news of the first child. It was made clear that this was neither planned nor wanted, and that it was the result of carelessness on their part.
Fast-forward to now, and they have strongly hinted to me that they would like a baby shower. They just had one less than year ago, at which they received a massive amount of supplies! They do not have a big enough circle to invite all new guests.
My mother and I offered to throw them a gender reveal party, an offer that was quickly rejected without consideration. And we often watch their baby, so it’s not like we don’t care about them.
My mother has told me that if a baby shower is thrown for them by my sister-in-law’s family (who also threw the last one), she would like to give them a pack of condoms! I was shocked -- most of the shock arising from the fact that the idea originated from my usually puritanical mother. I suggested that perhaps, instead of presenting this “gift” in front of all my sister-in-law’s friends, it be given privately as a “welcome home from the hospital” present once the baby is born.
I would value your opinion on this matter.
GENTLE READER: It is that your mother should be allowed one tasteless joke within the family without its being spread around, much less acted upon.
Admittedly, the couple set a standard of tastelessness by discussing the conception and demanding a shower from relatives. But there is an extended family involved here, with a child to be added to it. This seems a good reason to end any kidding that perpetuates the notion that the child was unwanted.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
Stories by Miss Manners
- Miss Manners: Handling well-meaning snack offers when you have dietary restrictions
- Miss Manners: How to handle a guest’s unexpected use of hand towels
- Miss Manners: Handling requests from former homeowners for photos and visits
- Miss Manners: How to handle empty platters and persistent guests
- Miss Manners: Tactful ways to address laundry habits with your sister