Dear Abby: Young mom so invested in family, she is losing her sense of self

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old wife and mother of three children under 3. While I love my husband and children, I’m struggling to find myself and what I like to do. When I wake up, I don’t think about myself and what I need. Instead, I feel guilty and selfish when I do think about myself. It’s hard for me to focus on work because of the needs of the house.

I’m the second oldest of 10, and from a young age I’ve had the responsibility of taking care of others. I never realized it would affect me this much. How do I find the balance to make time for myself and my family without feeling guilty? -- HANDS FULL IN TENNESSEE

DEAR HANDS FULL: Please stop beating yourself up for the feelings you are experiencing. You are not the only young mother who has them. You have had three children in three years, and some of those feelings may be hormonal. If you haven’t discussed them with your doctor, you should. If you don’t want more children in the near future, talk with them about that as well.

Because you took care of your younger siblings for years, could some of them give you a hand now? Are there any other relatives who could ease the responsibility you have taken on? As your babies grow older, you will have time to explore more opportunities for yourself.

Stories by Abigail Van Buren

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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