DEAR ABBY: I am a 40-something woman who has recently become disabled. I use a wheelchair. Some days, my body works; other days, it doesn’t. But walking any distance causes me to have seizures. I look fairly healthy to anyone who isn’t close to me, but I’m not.
About a year into my disability, my husband and I had to move in with my dad so he could help care for me. Dad does all the shopping and errands, and my husband works full time. I rarely leave the house. On days when I’m feeling really good, I go shopping with Dad. He’s in his 70s, but has no problem pushing me in my wheelchair.
The issue is, I get dirty looks from other elderly people who see an old man pushing what looks like a healthy younger person. I don’t feel I should have to explain why I use a wheelchair. However, it’s starting to really upset me that the few times a month when I get out, I get dirty looks.
Those people are seeing me on my best days. I’m hoping you can spread the word that some disabilities are invisible, and that it’s OK to use a wheelchair if needed. -- PUSHED AROUND IN IDAHO
DEAR PUSHED: Some people do take advantage of disabled parking, and it’s not surprising that able-bodied folks are offended by it. HOWEVER, as you so clearly stated, not everyone’s disability is obvious. Some healthy-looking individuals have heart problems or balance issues (among others), which is why it is wrong to assume anything about anyone you don’t know. When people give you dirty looks because your father is assisting you, simply smile and ignore them.
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