Asking Eric: How to ask guests to bring their own food without seeming cheap

Dear Eric: My parents have a beautiful ocean-front beach house. I am a middle-aged woman who is a single mom of two children with no child support. I would love to have families down to enjoy the beach with us but don’t want the added expense of being the hostess.

While I have a great career and job, I use the summer months to save for the expensive oil bills in winter and the kids’ sports during the year.

So, even providing the hot dogs and hamburgers weekend after weekend is too expensive for me. I need help crafting an invite to politely ask people to bring their own food/drinks without sounding cheap. I am happy to provide the ice cream! Can you help?

– All Alone at the Beach

Dear Beach: I think politeness and directness are first cousins, so these may not be as light a touch as you want. But here’s two options:

“We’d love to host and feed everyone but with so many guests, it’s not doable. So, please bring whatever you and your kiddos want to eat and drink. Don’t worry, we’ve got plenty of fridge and freezer space. And I’ll provide the ice cream!”

Or, go the logistical route, Airbnb-style. List what folks can expect, amenities-wise (sheets, perhaps, toilet paper, etc.) and a “don’t forget” list, including things like sunscreen, favorite board games, and their food and drink for the weekend.

Rest assured: you don’t sound cheap. You’re providing them a whole house. They should be paying for your meals.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.